The book where you're the star! Every scene in Penis Pokey has one thing
missing - and you have to complete the picture! Are you up to the
challenge? Scenes include the Loch Ness Monster, a bucking bronco, and a
Collection (in York)
If you would like to collect your order from our shop rather than pay for postage, select the 'Click & Collect' delivery option at checkout. Once your goods have been picked and
packed we will email you to let you know your goodies are ready for you
to pick up.
Standard Delivery on orders under £40 costs £3.95 and takes 3-5 working days. Standard Delivery on orders over £40 is free and takes 3-5 working days. Some of the bulky/heavy items we offer for sale are excluded from our
standard delivery charges and may incur a postage surcharge. You
will be made aware of this during the checkout process.
Next Day Delivery (UK Mainland ONLY) costs £9.95. Orders must be placed before 3pm. (Monday to Friday only). Next Day Delivery cannot be guaranteed on Saturdays. All Next Day orders placed on weekends will be delivered on Tuesday.
Delivery to Europe costs £12.95. Delivery to the Rest of the World costs £19.95. All international deliveries come with tracking and require a signature upon receipt.
Please be aware that receiving goods in countries other than European
Union member states may incur import duties and/or local taxes which
are your responsibility.
It may sometimes be possible that the standard international delivery
charges set out above will prove insufficient for especially
bulky/heavy parcels. In this case we will contact you and offer you a
postage surcharge to meet the cost of shipping your order. Should you
not wish to pay this surcharge we will refund your payment in full and
cancel your order.
No refunds/exchanges after 28 days of delivery.
Damaged Items: When good are received in a faulty condition, the customer is entitled to a replacement product, or a full money refund, including postage and return postage.
Buyer Remorse: If you have changed your mind about an item you bought, you are entitled to an exchange, or a full money refund, excluding postage and return postage.
What to do: To initiate a refund or exchange, please contact us. We will ask you to return the goods in their original condition with their original packaging and tags. We always recommend using a recorded delivery service and keeping proof of postage, as wecannot be held responsible if return items are lost in transit.
Please allow 14 days for returns to be processed.
We regret that due to hygiene regulations, unwanted earrings cannot be returned.
Security (Sage Pay)
We use the industry leading internet payment company Sage Pay to protect your card details and protect us from fraud. The following security systems are used.
Transaction security. All transaction information passed between merchant sites and the Sage Pay VSP Systems is encrypted using 128-bit SSL certificates. No cardholder information is ever passed unencrypted and any messages sent to your servers from Sage Pay are signed using MD5 hashing to prevent tampering. You can be completely secure in the knowledge that nothing you pass to the Sage Pay servers can be examined, used or modified by any third parties attempting to gain access to sensitive information.
Encryption and Data Storage. All sensitive data is secured on Sage Pay using the same internationally recognised 256-bit encryption standards used by, among others, the US Government. The encryption keys are held on state-of-the-art, tamper proof systems in the same family as those used to secure VeriSign's Global Root certificate, making them all but impossible to extract. The data we hold is extremely secure and we are regularly audited by the banks and banking authorities to ensure it remains so.
Links to banks. Sage Pay has multiple private links into the banking network that are completely separate from the Internet and which do not cross any publicly accessible networks. Any cardholder information sent to the banks and any authorisation message coming back is secure and cannot be tampered with.
Employee access. No individuals within our company or Sage Pay are able to decrypt transaction information or cardholder data. Our systems only allow access to our most senior staff and only in extenuating circumstances (such as investigations of Card Fraud by the Police). Your transaction information and customer card information is secure even form our own employees because our systems never display the full card numbers, even on administration screens.
We use the industry leading internet payment company PayPal to protect your card details and protect from fraud. PayPal keep your information safe. We will never actually see your bank or credit card details, they are passed in a highly secure way directly to PayPal for processing. Industry-leading fraud prevention is just one of the reasons PayPal is a safe way to pay online. PayPal uses proprietary technology and constantly innovates to monitor transactions and maintain a secure payment system. To help you keep track of your account activity, PayPal sends an email confirmation of every account transaction. For more information visit www.paypal.co.uk