Rude Humour

Celebrate your worryingly old age in appropriate style with this hilarious 'Basically Dead' Tombstone Candle! This candle is shaped to mimic a large gravestone with a stepped base, with the words 'Basically Dead' engraved in Gothic script on the front, and a candle wick sticking out the top. A perfect tongue-in-cheek candle for your next birthday gathering! Measurements: 15cm x 12cm x 3cm. Wax. To…

More aggressive than passive, this Brainbox Candy notebook will tell your colleagues how you really feel. Black and yellow in colour, it reads, “5 days with you twats, two days of bliss.” With 48 lined pages it's perfect for keeping track of your workplace enemies to-do list. Matt laminated soft cover, 48 feint ruled pages, perfect bound. Measures 14.8cm x 10.5cm. Printed in the UK on high quality…

Perfect for the puerile, this Brainbox Candy notebook is guaranteed to make you smirk and snigger. Designed to look like lined paper with a list written on it in rainbow coloured crayons, it reads, “Bogey face, poo head, bum bum, willy, snot, wee wee, dinkle, boobies, plop.” With 48 lined pages it's perfect for keeping a list of immature names and catchphrases. Matt laminated soft cover, 48 feint…

More aggressive than passive, this Brainbox Candy mug says what you wish you were allowed to say when you’re dealing with your third customer of the day, but you’re only on your second coffee. Red, white and black in colour, it reads, “Here to help! Only joking, fuck off.” Resting bitch face in mug form! Mug measures 9.5cm high and 8cm in diameter. Comes in presentation box. Dishwasher and Microwa…

Tell it like it is with this in-your-face Brainbox Candy mug reading, "Information: I think the fuck I give went that way." Helpful for alerting co-workers that you're not in the best of moods! Mug measures 9.5cm high and 8cm in diameter. Comes in presentation box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. To see the rest of our rude mugs browse our Rude Gifts section, available online, or in our brick-and-m…

We all dread that one person at work who is incapable of making a decent cup of tea... tell it like it is with this in-your-face mug reading, "This tea tastes like minge!" Mug measures 9.5cm high and 8cm in diameter. Comes in presentation box. Dishwasher and microwave safe. To see the rest of our rude mugs browse our Rude Gifts section, available online, or in our brick-and-mortar shop based in Yo…

More aggressive than passive, this Brainbox Candy button badge will tell your colleagues how you really feel. Black and yellow in colour, it reads, “5 days with you twats, two days of bliss.” Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.8cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see the rest of our rude button badges browse our Rude Gifts, section, avail…

Designed with consultation from both focus groups and strangers on the internet, this Brainbox Candy button badge will remind you of the perils of letting the internet decide on the naming of things. That, and it’s a great badge for that one friend whose name you keep forgetting. Red and white in colour, it reads, “Hello, my name is… Badgey McBadgeface.” Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measu…

Purrfect for aspiring Crazy Cat Ladies and Lords, this light blue badge features a silhouette of a cat and the words “Cat Collector.” Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.8cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see the rest of our rude button badges browse our Rude Gifts section, available online, or in our brick-and-mortar shop based in York,…

The most relatable of all badges, this Dean Morris button badge can speak where you can't! Black in colour, with white blocky text that simply reads 'Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck', this little badge would make for a great accessory add-on for the potty-mouthed panicker! Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.2cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see…

Show off your #gymgains with this Dean Morris button badge. Red in colour, with black-outlined bubbly white text, it reads 'Gym Wanker'. Be a proud gym wanker, own it, and live your best life. Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.2cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see the rest of our rude button badges browse our Rude Gifts, section, avai…

More aggressive than passive, this Dean Morris button badge will tell your friends and family how you really feel. Red and white; this badge reads; “Hello, My Name Is... Sick Of Your Shit.” Not very helpful, are you? Wear this badge with pride! Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.2cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see the rest of our rud…

Ah, pigeons, the rats of the sky, and Britain's most common animal, you love to hate them! Show off your pigeon prejudice with this Dean Morris button badge, vivid yellow with a pigeon image, and black text that reads “I Hate Pigeons”. Fastens with a metal pin fastener and measures 3.2cm in diameter. Not suitable for children. Printed and manufactured in the UK. To see the rest of our rude button…

Let everyone know you're the best human being around in a tongue-in-cheek way with this funny “I Shit Rainbows' button badge from Dean Morris! This badge features the phrase printed in bubbly rainbow coloured text, with a rainbow illustration underneath. If you do actually shit rainbows; get in touch, that's well cool and probably an anomaly that warrants arrest and research. Fastens with a metal…

Don't forget to seize the day with this fancy-ass 'Carpe Fucking Diem' flexi-cover journal from the Calligraphuck range! This black journal features 192 metallic-ink lined paper pages, and an eye-catching front cover that reads 'Carpe Fucking Diem' in sprawling golden-foil calligraphy. A perfect journal diary for anyone who needs a sweary motivational kick! Measurements: 5” x 7 1/8”. To see the re…

Seize the day in style with this eye-catching 'Carpe Fucking Diem' ceramic mug from the Calligraphuck range! This black glossy mug features a golden finish handle, and a golden-foil printed phrase on both sides that reads 'Carpe Fucking Diem' in sprawling golden calligraphy. This mug would make for a great gift for the classy swear lover and caffeine fiends in your life! Measurements: 295ml capaci…

Tote around your cheeky drinks in style with this 'Classy As Fuck' hip flask from Calligraphuck! This hip flask is crafted from stainless steel with a golden finish, and features the phrase 'Classy As Fuck' in swirling black calligraphy, with a screw-top lid and included metal funnel to help fill it up without spills! Packaged in a cardboard gift-box, this hip flask would make for a great gift for…

Jot down your notes in style with these 'Fucking Brilliant' Pencils from the Calligraphuck range! These snazzy pre-sharpened HB/No. 2 pencils feature grey and black colouring, with a grey eraser topper, and emblazoned with five differing phrases; “Write That Shit Down”, “Fuck-A-Doodle-Do”, “Getting Shit Done”, “Fucking Brilliant”, and “Take Note, Bitches”, in embossed golden-foil. This pack of ten…

To see the rest of our sweary giftware browse our Rude Gifts section, available online, or in our brick-and-mortar shop based in York, UK.

Up your cocktail game and be the hostess with the most-ess with this Shaking Shit Up Cocktail Shaker from Calligraphuck! Classy and sweary in all the right ways, this cocktail shaker is crafted from gold-finished stainless steel, and features the phrase 'Shaking Shit Up!' printed on the front in swirling pretty calligraphy. The whole kit, packaged in a fancy keepsake cardboard gift tube, includes…

Let you and a mate drink like f*cking royalty with this classy set of two rocks glasses from the Calligraphuck range! This set includes two golden-rimmed glasses, each emblazoned with a shimmering golden catchphrase, with one reading; "Top Shelf Shit" and the other, "On The Fucking Rocks", in swirling calligraphy. These glasses measure 3" x 3.5" and holds 350ml, with enough room for some fancy ice…

Keep a motivational reminder and store your treasures and bling in style with this 'You're Fucking Awesome' Trinket Tray from the Calligraphuck range! Shaped like a cartoon speech bubble, the titular phrase is printed on in golden-foil in sprawling fancy calligraphy, just to remind you that your are, in fact, a fucking awesome human being. This trinket tray would make for a great little gift for t…

Stay organised and put-together like a real adult human (or, try) with this hardback deluxe 'You Got This Shit' journal from the Calligraphuck range! The cover of this black journal is stamped with the titular phrase; 'You Got This Shit' in sprawling metallic golden-foil calligraphy, with high-quality paper pages inside, with alternating blank and lined pages with corner vignette detailing, AND gi…

More aggressive than passive, this Brainbox Candy coaster says what you wish you were allowed to say when you’re dealing with your third customer of the day, but you’re only on your second coffee. Red, white and black in colour, it reads, “Here to help! Only joking, fuck off.” Resting bitch face in coaster form! Melamine coaster with cork backing measures 10cm x 10cm. Printed and manufactured in t…