Books

52 Things To Do While You Poo From poo puzzles to poo facts, pooing has never been so much fun! If you ever wondered what key most toilets flush in, or how many years of their life the average person spends on the toilet, or if you've wished you'd had a wordsearch or maze to complete whilst you've been on the loo, then this is the book for you! Every toilet should have a copy of this book next to…

52 Things To Learn On The Loo Make use of those dull moments on the loo by teaching yourself how a starfish eats a clam, how to say ‘Hello’ in every European language and what the dot over an i is called. Covering all types of trivia, from science and natural history to the different types of moustache, this little book contains enough fascinating facts to keep you learning throughout the year. Ha…

A Guinea Pig Oliver Twist Fur and fiction combine in this retelling of Charles Dickens's most famous novel, adorably adapted with an all-star cast of guinea pigs. In the misery of a workhouse, a poor, fluffy little orphan called Oliver Twist is fed on nothing but thin air and even thinner gruel. By squeaking a fateful question - 'Please, sir, I want some more' - he unwittingly sparks a series of e…

Born into the litters of two rival families, star-cross'd lovers Romeo and Juliet fall tuft-over-paw for each other before learning that they are sworn enemies. 'O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?' squeaks Juliet from her balcony, before declarations of undying affection are made and a secret wedding is planned. But the path of true love does not run smooth, and Romeo soon finds himself ban…

Keanu Reeves: actor, musician, dog lover. He's the internet's boyfriend. The poetic petrolhead. The guru on a surfboard. Part samurai, part samaritan. He is, very simply, 'The One'. In this hilarious book of pocket philosophy, film critic and Keanu fan James King reveals what makes Mr Reeves so special. He unpacks iconic films from the Bill & Teds to the John Wicks, as well as the star's own free-…

Break out the cocktail shaker and the glasses, it’s time to brew up some Classy as Fuck Cocktails with this suave sweary recipe book! This hardback gold-foiled and gold-edged book is as classy as can be, filled to the brim with over sixty different recipes for any cocktail for any occasion, with golden-foil text inserts of puns and sweary motivational quotes. With recipes ranging from beginner to…

From the gentle hiss of the Silent But Deadly to the rip-roaring salute of the Seismic Blast, this hilarious, illustrated mock spotter's guide identifies the field marks, voice, habitat, and range of ten common wind-breakers, so that you can identify he (or she) who dealt it every time. Can't pinpoint what the Flight of the Buttock Bees sounds like? Just push the button on the attached battery-pow…

Film in Five Seconds Know a great movie when you see one? Can you tell your Grease from your Godfather, your King Kong from your King's Speech, your Rocky from your Rocky Horror? In Film in Five Seconds, some of the greatest movies ever made are transformed into hilarious and witty infographics to put your movie knowledge to the test. You'll laugh out loud as you identify some of the greatest scre…

Fucking Apostrophes The title says it all. Despite what some might claim, the rules about how to use them are complicated, and have evolved haphazardly. This is a light-hearted guide to getting the fucking things right. Simon Griffin lets off steam so that we don’t have to, showing precisely why ‘Rhianna and Jennifer’s photos were all over the internet’ is quite different to ‘Rhianna’s and Jennife…

Fucking Brilliant Journal Both edgy and elegant, this journal is the place for recording the boldest and most brilliant of ideas. Featuring foil-stamped calligraphy on the cover and metallic ink throughout, there are 192 lined pages. Paperback. Measures 18cm x 13cm. Find the rest of our hilarious novels, novellas, and activity books at our online book section, or visit our brick and mortar shop in…

How Not to Be a Dick On the one hand, nobody wants to be a dick. On the other hand, dicks are everywhere! They cut in line, talk behind our backs, recline into our seats, and even have the power to morph into trolls online. Their powers are impressive, but with a little foresight and thoughtfulness, we can take a stand against dickishness today. How Not to Be a Dick is packed with honest and strai…

How to Eat Cock: Mouthwatering Chicken Recipes The perfect book to get the most out of your cock. By her own admission, Cossie Hussey loves cock. With How to Eat Cock, join her on a culinary exploration and learn to know your way around cock just as well as she does. With recipes honed by a childhood spent on her family farm - from sticky southern fried cock to gobble up with your hands, served wi…

How To Poo At Work This book could kickstart your career and get you the keys to the executive washroom! How to Poo at Work is the only guide to visiting the toilet at work, and is overflowing with useful advice for dealing with the sort of washroom-related problem any worker faces on a daily basis. It starts with the Golden Rules of Workplace Defecation and follows up with many practical, real-li…

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety Long gone are the good old days when a cat's biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives. For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our cou…

The Oatmeal: How to Tell if your Cat is Plotting to Kill You How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of cat comics, facts and instructional guides from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. Fan favourites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to pet a kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus a crap-ton of new, never-before-seen comics, such as "How to tell if you…

I Could Chew on This and other Poems by Dogs From Toy Poodles to Great Danes, dogs of all sizes, ages, breeds, and dispositions have an inner poet lurking just beneath the surface. Written by these astute and inspired canines are such classics as, "I Dropped a Ball," "I Lose My Mind When You Leave the House," and "Can You Smell That?" Each poem in this collection perfectly captures the quirkiness…

Sometimes "meow" just doesn't quite ge the point across... In I Could Pee On This you'll find poems penned by cats that reveal theor every desire, theor every conflict, and their every moment of neurotic genius. You'll discover why cats do things like sit on you face before the sun comes up. help clean your bedside table with their tail, or confirm that there really are one thousand sheets in the…

One of the best coffee table books ever created, this 'My Neighbour Hayao' art book features absolutely stunning artwork and illustrations themed around the work that Hayao Miyazaki and his Studio Ghibli have created, drawn and compiled by over 250 artists and the Spoke Art Gallery. Flip through this high-quality art and find your favourite piece; with works based from the iconic Ghibli movies lik…

Make your own happy little accidents with this officially licensed Bob Ross colouring book! This paperback 96-page book includes more than seventy-five different line art drawings of Bob Ross' most famous 'The Joy of Painting' paintings - a blank canvas ready for you to scribble in! With a line-art drawing on one page, and an inspiring wholesome quote from Bob Ross on the other, this colouring boo…

Track the decline of your year with the Perpetual Disappointments Diary (the name is inspired by what your parents think of you). Each week-to-view double page has plenty of space for appointments and doodles, and features a special demotivational quote, notable anniversaries and deaths. There’s also sections for People Who Never Call, Notes Towards a Laboured Poem, Useful Phrases and more. Keep t…

Please Stop Touching Me ... and Other Haikus by Cats This brilliant collection of feline flights of fancy and hilarious haikus take us inside the minds of our most popular pets, revealing their inner-most secrets, their disdain for their owners, and the poetry that is common to all cats. Featuring over 50 haikus complete with glorious images, this is a hysterical gift for cat lovers, cat haters, a…

You can’t be zen all the time. Embrace your inner rage and take it out on some harmless paper with this stress-busting Rage Journal! This journal is jam-packed with fun quips on anger, sarcasm, and bad moods on one side of the page, and a fun 'un-spirational' activity for you to quell your rage on the other – which could include writing an angry unsent letter, straight up stamping on the book, or…

Rude Puzzle Book Strictly for grown-ups! This book puts the tease into brain-teasers with a compendium of crude crosswords, unbelievably wicked word searches, dirty dot-to-dots and other provocative puzzles to test your knowledge of the smuttiest lingo – a racy replacement for life’s idle moments. Paperback. 128 pages. Measures 12.5cm x 17.5cm. Find the rest of our hilarious novels, novellas, and…

Let the Bard help you make up the best insult in the world with this Shakespeare Insult Generator flip-book from Barry Kraft! This book features three insults to a page, mixing-and-matching iconic cheeky words from Shakespeare’s works, along with their definitions to the left-hand-side. Go flipping and see what creative insults you can find, and try them out for us and let us know how it goes. It’…